


The Murder Squash Song

by Chainofprospit



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Gen, Murder Squash Song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-08
Updated: 2015-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 13:10:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4523328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chainofprospit/pseuds/Chainofprospit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Well, someone had to do it.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Murder Squash Song

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously the first six words belong to Maggie Stiefvater. The rest is purely me. 
> 
> Warnings include violence, gore (ish), and general terribleness. Don't say I didn't tell you. 
> 
> (You can also reblog this on Tumblr at http://chainofprospit.com/post/126113971103/)

 

> **“THE MURDER SQUASH SONG”**
> 
> SQUASH ONE, SQUASH TWO, SQUASH THREE, SQUASH FOUR -   
>  Pick up your baseball bat - Thwack! Whack! C’mon, more!  
>  Craniums, watermelons, pumpkins, and gourds:  
>  All of them SMASH when you throw ‘em on the floor!
> 
> SQUASH FIVE, SQUASH SIX, SQUASH SEVEN, SQUASH EIGHT!  
>  Is it cantaloupe or brains all scooped out on your plate?  
>  There’s nothing quite so smashing as a good and thorough thrashing, so -  
>  Lay ‘em out! Crush a head! It’s not murder ‘til they’re DEAD!
> 
> SQUASH EIGHT, SQUASH SEVEN, SQUASH SIX, SQUASH FIVE -   
>  Nothing’s quite so boring as a person who’s alive!  
>  Everyone likes party games, so hang piñatas – spill their brains!  
>  Jack be noble, grab a stick; it’s a party, make ‘em sick!
> 
> SQUASH FOUR, SQUASH THREE, SQUASH TWO, SQUASH ONE!  
>  Balloons popping; bodies dropping; have you ever had such fun?  
>  Bang, squish, crack, crunch – squeeze some eyeballs in the punch!  
>  Don’t get woozy, nothing’s wrong! It’s all part of the Murder Squash Song!

 

  **UPDATE:**

The Murder Squash Song now has an (equally painful) remix!

Listen here:


End file.
